The Sherlock Holmes Kink Meme Archive
Our depravity knows no bounds
Other Results: 33 Series
 
 
Stories
Summary: The Bulwer-Lytton Contest has people submit the worst opening sentence from the worst novels never written. Some of them are truly inspiring in their awfulness.

In that vein: write the worst opening sentence for the worst Holmes story never written.
Categories: Ficlets Characters: John Watson
Genre: Crack
Pairing: None
Story Elements: None
Universe: None
Challenges:
Series: It was a dark and stormy night
Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes Word count: N/A
[Report This] Published: 17 Feb 2011 Updated: 17 Feb 2011


Summary: The Bulwer-Lytton Contest has people submit the worst opening sentence from the worst novels never written. Some of them are truly inspiring in their awfulness.

In that vein: write the worst opening sentence for the worst Holmes story never written.
Categories: Ficlets Characters: John Watson, Sherlock Holmes
Genre: Crack
Pairing: None
Story Elements: None
Universe: None
Challenges:
Series: It was a dark and stormy night
Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes Word count: N/A
[Report This] Published: 17 Feb 2011 Updated: 17 Feb 2011


Summary: Moriarty/Watson, inspired by Shakespeare quotation
Categories: Ficlets Characters: James Moriarty, John Watson, Sherlock Holmes
Genre: Angst
Pairing: None
Story Elements: None
Universe: None
Challenges:
Series: None
Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes Word count: N/A
[Report This] Published: 08 Feb 2011 Updated: 08 Feb 2011


It's Licit if it's Lawful by Anon Rated: PORN [ - ]
Summary:

Holmes and Watson are dropped in modern London and Holmes (somehow) discovers that Homosexuality is now legal. He takes full advantage.

I pretty much just want Holmes kissing(/making-out with) Watson in random, public places. At a church and in front of police officers in particular 'cause Holmes needs his smugness. XD


Categories: Ficlets Characters: John Watson, Sherlock Holmes
Genre: Humour
Pairing: None
Story Elements: None
Universe: Victorian Era (Non-Specific)
Challenges:
Series: None
Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes Word count: N/A
[Report This] Published: 30 Mar 2011 Updated: 30 Mar 2011


It's nice but it hurts by lolryne Rated: Teen [ - ]
Summary: t's nice, but it hurts.

~

It's not what you think it is.

~

Bad, bad, bad idea.

~

I want it and I'm willing to kill to have it.

~

It doesn't suit you.
Categories: Ficlets Characters: John Watson, Mary Watson nee Morstan, Sherlock Holmes
Genre: Angst
Pairing: None
Story Elements: None
Universe: 2009 Movie (RDJ)
Challenges:
Series: None
Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes Word count: N/A
[Report This] Published: 08 Feb 2011 Updated: 08 Feb 2011


Summary: Charlie Brown and company go trick-or-treating at 221b Baker Street.
Categories: Ficlets Characters: John Watson, Mrs. Hudson, Sherlock Holmes
Genre: Crack, Crossover
Pairing: None
Story Elements: None
Universe: 2009 Movie (RDJ)
Challenges:
Series: None
Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes Word count: N/A
[Report This] Published: 10 Feb 2011 Updated: 10 Feb 2011


Jack the Ripper by Anon Rated: PORN [ - ]
Summary:

The reason Jack the Ripper was never found was because Holmes never tried that hard to find him.
Holmes never liked women.

Take it as you will~


Categories: Ficlets Characters: Sherlock Holmes
Genre: Dark
Pairing: None
Story Elements: None
Universe: Victorian Era (Non-Specific)
Challenges:
Series: None
Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes Word count: N/A
[Report This] Published: 13 Jun 2011 Updated: 13 Jun 2011


Jam by ljghunter Rated: Teen [ - ]
Summary: Watson gets shot in the head. It goes in one side, jumbles up brains, and goes out the other. He survives, but his last thought as an intelligent man is how much his brains look like jam.

Which is why it's Jam!Watson's favourite food. If he can put in as much squishy red stuff as he lost, then he must get better!
Categories: Ficlets Characters: Inspector Lestrade, John Watson, Sherlock Holmes
Genre: Angst
Pairing: None
Story Elements: None
Universe: 1930's Movies (Rathbone)
Challenges:
Series: None
Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes Word count: N/A
[Report This] Published: 18 Feb 2011 Updated: 18 Feb 2011


Jammy Watson by taleya Rated: Gen [ - ]
Summary: Somehow, movie!Watson gets replaced with New Jammy Watson. Hilarity ensues as Holmes must rely on New Watson and Proper Watson fights to get his role back
Categories: Ficlets Characters: John Watson, Sherlock Holmes
Genre: Crack, Humour
Pairing: None
Story Elements: None
Universe: Victorian Era (Non-Specific)
Challenges:
Series: None
Chapters: 2 Completed: Yes Word count: 452
[Report This] Published: 05 Feb 2011 Updated: 05 Feb 2011


Jealous!Watson by Anon Rated: Teen [ - ]
Summary: Holmes is in love with Watson. Unfortunately, Holmes has some self-esteem/internalized-homophobia/drug-corrupted-mind/author's-choice issues... So he hasn't come to terms with his feelings in a positive way, and it haunts his subconscious.

Five nights of dreams with Dark!Watson/Holmes. A focus on the different varieties of Dark!Watson would be wonderful, possibly Sadistic!Watson, Jealous!Watson, Drunk!Watson, Homophobic!Watson, and Blame-the-Victim!Watson?
Categories: Ficlets Characters: John Watson, Sherlock Holmes
Genre: Angst
Pairing: None
Story Elements: None
Universe: 2009 Movie (RDJ)
Challenges:
Series: None
Chapters: 1 Completed: No Word count: N/A
[Report This] Published: 21 Feb 2011 Updated: 21 Feb 2011


Jizz In His Pants by Cutebutpsycho Rated: Teen [ - ]
Summary: Watson ejaculates on Holmes' violin, Holmes' retaliates by jizzing all over Watson's notes and books and things and it becomes a full on war: pipes, slippers, tools-NOTHING IS SAFE. (Until maybe they decide that coming in/on each other is much more pleasant. ...And less...sticky.)
Categories: Ficlets Characters: John Watson, Sherlock Holmes
Genre: Humour
Pairing: None
Story Elements: Masturbation
Universe: 2009 Movie (RDJ)
Challenges:
Series: None
Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes Word count: N/A
[Report This] Published: 05 Feb 2011 Updated: 05 Feb 2011


Summary: John and Sherlock get into a snowball fight.
Categories: Ficlets Characters: John Watson, Sherlock Holmes
Genre: Fluff
Pairing: None
Story Elements: None
Universe: Sherlock (BBC)
Challenges:
Series: None
Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes Word count: N/A
[Report This] Published: 08 Feb 2011 Updated: 08 Feb 2011


Summary: John cooks. Sherlock pretends to like it. It is terrible.
Categories: Ficlets Characters: John Watson, Sherlock Holmes
Genre: Fluff, Humour
Pairing: None
Story Elements: None
Universe: 2009 Movie (RDJ)
Challenges:
Series: None
Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes Word count: N/A
[Report This] Published: 25 Oct 2011 Updated: 25 Oct 2011


Summary: Fic to accompany adrianfdagmar's art.
Categories: Ficlets Characters: John Watson, Sherlock Holmes
Genre: Humour
Pairing: None
Story Elements: None
Universe: Sherlock (BBC)
Challenges:
Series: John grows his hair out
Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes Word count: N/A
[Report This] Published: 10 Feb 2011 Updated: 10 Feb 2011


Summary: Sherlock is dead *hands out tissues*. I want the reactions. Is it up to Lestrade to tell John? Does Mycroft thrack this guy down and have his genitals removed with a cheese grater? Who goes to Sherlock's funeral?
Categories: Ficlets Characters: Inspector Lestrade, John Watson, Mycroft Holmes
Genre: Angst
Pairing: None
Story Elements: None
Universe: Sherlock (BBC)
Challenges:
Series: None
Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes Word count: N/A
[Report This] Published: 10 Feb 2011 Updated: 10 Feb 2011


John rocks the sweaters by Anon Rated: Gen [ - ]
Summary: BBC John doesn't have a 'tache, but he rocks those sweaters.

Embrace the sweaters! Show me Sweater-love!
Categories: Ficlets Characters: John Watson, Sherlock Holmes
Genre: Fluff
Pairing: None
Story Elements: None
Universe: Sherlock (BBC)
Challenges:
Series: None
Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes Word count: N/A
[Report This] Published: 17 Feb 2011 Updated: 17 Feb 2011


Summary: John sleeps in Sherlock's shirts. Donovan finds out how he knows.
Categories: Ficlets Characters: John Watson, Sally Donovan, Sherlock Holmes
Genre: Crack
Pairing: None
Story Elements: None
Universe: Sherlock (BBC)
Challenges:
Series: None
Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes Word count: 180
[Report This] Published: 05 Feb 2011 Updated: 05 Feb 2011


John smokes by sockpuppetaccnt Rated: PORN [ - ]
Summary: BBC verse. Sherlock and Lestrade may have kicked the habit, but John is a secret smoker. How the hell he's managed to hide it from Sherlock is a mystery, but there you go. Lestrade catches him at it, and his resolve crumbles. John is all "whatever, just don't dare blame me" when Lesterade joins him. Then they giggle about smoking behind Sherlock's back like two schoolgirls hiding from daddy.
Categories: Ficlets Characters: Inspector Lestrade, John Watson
Genre: Humour
Pairing: None
Story Elements: None
Universe: Sherlock (BBC)
Challenges:
Series: None
Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes Word count: N/A
[Report This] Published: 14 Feb 2011 Updated: 14 Feb 2011


Summary: Meet John. He has just been captured by Moriarty and is now strapped to Semtex waiting for Sherlock to come find him at the swimming pool. This fate could have been avoided if he had a sassy gay friend.
Categories: Ficlets Characters: John Watson, OMC
Genre: Humour
Pairing: None
Story Elements: None
Universe: Sherlock (BBC)
Challenges:
Series: None
Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes Word count: N/A
[Report This] Published: 06 Feb 2011 Updated: 06 Feb 2011


Summary: Dr. John Watson: Victorian Hipster!
Categories: Ficlets Characters: John Watson
Genre: Humour
Pairing: None
Story Elements: None
Universe: Victorian Era (Non-Specific)
Challenges:
Series: None
Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes Word count: N/A
[Report This] Published: 07 Feb 2011 Updated: 07 Feb 2011


Summary: Sherlock is used to being socially abused, jeered at, labelled a freak and looked at with suspicious awe.

The one thing he cannot handle is John Watson's unthinking kindness.
Categories: Ficlets Characters: John Watson, Sherlock Holmes
Genre: Fluff
Pairing: None
Story Elements: None
Universe: Sherlock (BBC)
Challenges:
Series: None
Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes Word count: N/A
[Report This] Published: 05 Feb 2011 Updated: 05 Feb 2011


Summary: One has the rest of the convicts pissing themselves. The other is fresh meat right off the bus. He's really, really not prepared for prison life. Dub-con. They innocent? I dun't care.
Categories: Ficlets Characters: John Watson, Sherlock Holmes
Genre: Drama , PWP
Pairing: None
Story Elements: None
Universe: Sherlock (BBC)
Challenges:
Series: None
Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes Word count: 540
[Report This] Published: 11 Feb 2011 Updated: 11 Feb 2011


Journal Entry by Anon Rated: Teen [ - ]
Summary: Had to deal with the most homophobic person I've encountered in a long time tonight. I'd like to see [any pairing] dealing with some serious hate from someone they thought they trusted.
Categories: Ficlets Characters: John Watson, Mycroft Holmes, Sherlock Holmes
Genre: Angst
Pairing: None
Story Elements: None
Universe: Victorian Era (Non-Specific)
Challenges:
Series: None
Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes Word count: N/A
[Report This] Published: 16 Feb 2011 Updated: 16 Feb 2011


Ke$ha lyrics fill by captain_pihkal Rated: Gen [ - ]
Summary: HOLMES WAKES UP IN THE MORNING FEELING LIKE P. DIDDY

HE'S GOT HIS GLASSES ON, HE'S OUT THE DOOR, HE'S GONNA HIT THIS CITY.
Categories: Ficlets Characters: John Watson, Sherlock Holmes
Genre: Humour
Pairing: None
Story Elements: None
Universe: Sherlock (BBC)
Challenges:
Series: None
Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes Word count: N/A
[Report This] Published: 16 Feb 2011 Updated: 16 Feb 2011


Keep Breathing by Anon Rated: Gen [ - ]
Summary:

Watson injured, or rockfall or sick or IDEC, just Holmes laying beside him, resting a single hand on his chest and desperately whispering "Keep breathing"

Victorian-verses please


Categories: Ficlets Characters: John Watson, Sherlock Holmes
Genre: Angst
Pairing: None
Story Elements: None
Universe: Victorian Era (Non-Specific)
Challenges:
Series: None
Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes Word count: N/A
[Report This] Published: 23 Mar 2011 Updated: 23 Mar 2011