The Sherlock Holmes Kink Meme Archive
Our depravity knows no bounds
Constable Clarke
Other Results: 8 Series
 
 
Stories
2009 Movie - GMD Crossover by astapez Rated: Gen [ - ]
Summary: Watson is turned into a mouse. He ends up spending some time and helping out Dawson and Basil. Holmes is worried/frustrated and a bit amused. He tries to find out who turned Watson into a mouse.

When Watson protects Dawson and Basil from a cat, he is seriously injured... and finding the person responsible for turning him into a mouse becomes a search that everyone is involved in--man, mouse, dog bird---everyone.

Non-cracky
Categories: Fiction Characters: Basil, Blackwood, Constable Clarke, Coward, Dawson, Dredger, Inspector Lestrade, Irene Adler, John Watson, Ratigan, Sherlock Holmes
Genre: Crossover
Pairing: None
Story Elements: Supernatural
Universe: 2009 Movie (RDJ) , The Great Mouse Detective
Challenges:
Series: None
Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes Word count: N/A
[Report This] Published: 17 Jan 2012 Updated: 17 Jan 2012


A Lapse in Judgement by arkady Rated: Teen [ - ]
Summary: Holmes falls into a coma. Watson pronounces him dead and buries him alive.
Does Holmes have the benefit of being buried in a safety coffin?
Categories: Fiction Characters: Constable Clarke, Inspector Lestrade, John Watson, Sherlock Holmes
Genre: Angst, Drama , H/C, Horror
Pairing: None
Story Elements: None
Universe: 2009 Movie (RDJ)
Challenges:
Series: None
Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes Word count: N/A
[Report This] Published: 16 Feb 2011 Updated: 16 Feb 2011


Summary: Have you ever seen Lestrade in a fanart? Yeah, me neither.

Lestrade and Clarky, maybe? It'd be ever so sweet.
Categories: Art Characters: Constable Clarke, Inspector Lestrade
Genre: Fluff
Pairing: None
Story Elements: None
Universe: 2009 Movie (RDJ)
Challenges:
Series: None
Chapters: 1 Completed: No Word count: N/A
[Report This] Published: 11 Feb 2011 Updated: 11 Feb 2011


Erotic punching by lonespark Rated: Teen [ - ]
Summary: Consensual punching. Being hit can be hot but sometimes ya need more than a slap.
Categories: Ficlets Characters: Constable Clarke, Sherlock Holmes
Genre: Drama
Pairing: None
Story Elements: UST
Universe: 2009 Movie (RDJ)
Challenges:
Series: None
Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes Word count: N/A
[Report This] Published: 08 Feb 2011 Updated: 08 Feb 2011


Summary: Five Times Lestrade Was Turned Down

And One Time He Wasn't
Categories: Fiction Characters: Constable Clarke, Inspector Gregson, Inspector Lestrade, John Watson, Sherlock Holmes
Genre: Angst, Drama , PWP
Pairing: None
Story Elements: None
Universe: Victorian Era (Non-Specific)
Challenges:
Series: None
Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes Word count: N/A
[Report This] Published: 15 Feb 2011 Updated: 15 Feb 2011


Holmes/Clarky by gyzym Rated: PORN [ - ]
Summary: fter Irene left Holmes handcuffed to the bed, we see a maid come in, scream, then cut to Clark and Holmes in the carriage, yes? Well....

WHERE IS ALL THE CLARK/HOLMES?

SERIOUSLY! The theory is that Clark was the poor schmuck who came upon Holmes NAKED and HANDCUFFED, and had to get him out of that fix. With the keys under the pretty pillow. YOU THINK HE DIDN'T TAKE ADVANTAGE? I think so, AND I WANT TO READ IT. Clarky seems like SUCH a fanboy too...
Categories: Ficlets Characters: Constable Clarke, Sherlock Holmes
Genre: PWP
Pairing: None
Story Elements: None
Universe: None
Challenges:
Series: None
Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes Word count: N/A
[Report This] Published: 06 Feb 2011 Updated: 06 Feb 2011


interrupted Sex by charlies_hoodie Rated: PORN [ - ]
Summary: Holmes and Watson are having wild sex in the middle of the day when an unexpected visitor drops by and they have to make themselves presentable LIKE REAL FAST. Bonus points if they were in the middle of something kinky. ("OMG, hurry with the handcuffs, Watson! Are you sure there are no gag marks on my face?") Super bonus points if, after the visitor has left and they have resumed their activities it happens again.
Categories: Fiction Characters: Constable Clarke, John Watson, Sherlock Holmes
Genre: BDSM, Humour
Pairing: None
Story Elements: None
Universe: 2009 Movie (RDJ)
Challenges:
Series: None
Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes Word count: N/A
[Report This] Published: 10 Feb 2011 Updated: 10 Feb 2011


Last night together by Anon Rated: Gen [ - ]
Summary:

Holmes and Watson are arrested for Gross Indecency/Buggery and kept apart. Clarkey has been secretly passing notes between the two of them. Lestrade catches him, and instead of punishing him, he gives Holmes and Watson one last favor, placing them in the same cell the night before one/both of their trials.



Categories: Fiction Characters: Constable Clarke, Inspector Lestrade, John Watson, Sherlock Holmes
Genre: Angst
Pairing: None
Story Elements: None
Universe: 2009 Movie (RDJ)
Challenges:
Series: None
Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes Word count: N/A
[Report This] Published: 30 Mar 2011 Updated: 30 Mar 2011


Limericks about Clarkey by rat_chan Rated: PORN [ - ]
Summary: A limerick about Clarky's sex life, please.
Categories: Ficlets Characters: Constable Clarke, Inspector Lestrade
Genre: Humour, Poetry
Pairing: None
Story Elements: None
Universe: 2009 Movie (RDJ)
Challenges:
Series: Limericks about Clarkey
Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes Word count: N/A
[Report This] Published: 15 Feb 2011 Updated: 15 Feb 2011


Limericks about Clarkey by ms_adler Rated: PORN [ - ]
Summary: A limerick about Clarky's sex life, please.
Categories: Ficlets Characters: Constable Clarke, Sherlock Holmes
Genre: Humour, Poetry
Pairing: None
Story Elements: Bondage
Universe: 2009 Movie (RDJ)
Challenges:
Series: Limericks about Clarkey
Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes Word count: N/A
[Report This] Published: 15 Feb 2011 Updated: 15 Feb 2011


Summary: A limerick about Clarky's sex life, please.
Categories: Ficlets Characters: Constable Clarke, Inspector Lestrade
Genre: Humour, Poetry
Pairing: None
Story Elements: None
Universe: 2009 Movie (RDJ)
Challenges:
Series: Limericks about Clarkey
Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes Word count: N/A
[Report This] Published: 15 Feb 2011 Updated: 15 Feb 2011


Limericks about Clarkey by tacosoup Rated: PORN [ - ]
Summary: A limerick about Clarky's sex life, please.
Categories: Ficlets Characters: Constable Clarke, Sherlock Holmes
Genre: Humour, Poetry
Pairing: None
Story Elements: None
Universe: 2009 Movie (RDJ)
Challenges:
Series: Limericks about Clarkey
Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes Word count: N/A
[Report This] Published: 15 Feb 2011 Updated: 15 Feb 2011


Limericks about Clarkey by e_p_kitty Rated: PORN [ - ]
Summary: A limerick about Clarky's sex life, please.
Categories: Ficlets Characters: Constable Clarke
Genre: Humour, Poetry
Pairing: None
Story Elements: None
Universe: 2009 Movie (RDJ)
Challenges:
Series: Limericks about Clarkey
Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes Word count: N/A
[Report This] Published: 15 Feb 2011 Updated: 15 Feb 2011


Limericks about Clarkey by Anon Rated: PORN [ - ]
Summary: A limerick about Clarky's sex life, please.
Categories: Ficlets Characters: Constable Clarke, Inspector Lestrade
Genre: Humour, Poetry
Pairing: None
Story Elements: None
Universe: 2009 Movie (RDJ)
Challenges:
Series: Limericks about Clarkey
Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes Word count: N/A
[Report This] Published: 15 Feb 2011 Updated: 15 Feb 2011


Limericks! by linguini17 Rated: PORN [ - ]
Summary: Limericks! Any verse, any pairing.
Categories: Ficlets Characters: Constable Clarke, Inspector Lestrade, Irene Adler, James Moriarty, John Watson, Mary Watson nee Morstan, Meme Members, Mrs. Hudson, Sherlock Holmes
Genre: Poetry, PWP
Pairing: None
Story Elements: None
Universe: 2009 Movie (RDJ) , Sherlock (BBC)
Challenges:
Series: Limericks!
Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes Word count: N/A
[Report This] Published: 16 Feb 2011 Updated: 16 Feb 2011


Lion's Den by ingridmatthews Rated: PORN [ - ]
Summary: RDJ!Holmes/Clarky/Jude!Watson
Categories: Fiction Characters: Constable Clarke, John Watson, Sherlock Holmes
Genre: PWP
Pairing: None
Story Elements: Masturbation, Threesomes
Universe: 2009 Movie (RDJ)
Challenges:
Series: None
Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes Word count: N/A
[Report This] Published: 09 Feb 2011 Updated: 09 Feb 2011


Martyrdom by pin pricks by gyzym Rated: PORN [ - ]
Summary: PLEASE GIVE ME HOLMES HAVING A BAD, NOT GOOD, COIN DROPPING DAY AND WATSON GIVING HIM A GOOD SEEING TO OVER THE ARM OF A COUCH.
Categories: Fiction Characters: Constable Clarke, Inspector Lestrade, John Watson, Mrs. Hudson, Sherlock Holmes
Genre: Humour
Pairing: None
Story Elements: None
Universe: 2009 Movie (RDJ)
Challenges:
Series: None
Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes Word count: N/A
[Report This] Published: 11 Feb 2011 Updated: 11 Feb 2011


Nothing on Earth by lavvyan Rated: Teen [ - ]
Summary: Watson dies during a case (shot by baddies, falls off a bridge, whatever you like). Holmes doesn't allow himself to think about it and works hard to solve the case. But when he gets back to Baker St and the adrenaline wears off, he totally breaks down - I'm talking screaming rageful tears, punching the wall, wrecking his chemistry experiments. Clarkie turns up to offer his condolences, and through Holmes' blurring tears, Clarkie looks like Watson and he almost kisses him, and then is horrified at his near mistake.
Categories: Fiction Characters: Constable Clarke, John Watson, Sherlock Holmes
Genre: Angst, Drama
Pairing: None
Story Elements: None
Universe: 2009 Movie (RDJ)
Challenges:
Series: None
Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes Word count: N/A
[Report This] Published: 05 Feb 2011 Updated: 05 Feb 2011


Sassy Gay Clarkie by gyzym Rated: Teen [ - ]
Summary: CLARKIE IS HOLMES AND WATSON'S SASSY GAY FRIEND.
Categories: Ficlets Characters: Constable Clarke, Sherlock Holmes
Genre: Crack, Humour
Pairing: None
Story Elements: None
Universe: 2009 Movie (RDJ)
Challenges:
Series: None
Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes Word count: N/A
[Report This] Published: 16 Feb 2011 Updated: 16 Feb 2011


Summary: Sherlock Holmes has a Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day.
Categories: Art Characters: Constable Clarke, Dredger, Gladstone, Inspector Lestrade, John Watson, Sherlock Holmes
Genre: Fluff, H/C, Humour
Pairing: None
Story Elements: None
Universe: 2009 Movie (RDJ)
Challenges:
Series: None
Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes Word count: N/A
[Report This] Published: 10 Feb 2011 Updated: 10 Feb 2011


Spiders by Anon Rated: Teen [ - ]
Summary: Spiders. Hundreds of them. Crawling all over the naked body of the character of your choice.
Categories: Fiction Characters: Constable Clarke, Inspector Lestrade, John Watson, Sherlock Holmes
Genre: Angst, Drama , H/C
Pairing: None
Story Elements: None
Universe: Victorian Era (Non-Specific)
Challenges:
Series: None
Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes Word count: N/A
[Report This] Published: 09 Feb 2011 Updated: 09 Feb 2011


Summary:

 can has historical H/C?

On 30 May 1884, during the Fenian bombing campaign of 1883 to 1885, an anonymous letter was sent threatening to bomb Scotland Yard and all other government buildings in Central London. On the night of 30 May an explosive device was placed on a urinal outside Scotland Yard, and later detonated causing severe damage to the CID and Special Irish Branch offices. 

Lestrde, Gregson, Clarky...pick a char and stick 'em in it :)


Categories: Fiction Characters: Constable Clarke, Inspector Gregson, Inspector Lestrade
Genre: H/C
Pairing: None
Story Elements: None
Universe: 2009 Movie (RDJ)
Challenges:
Series: None
Chapters: 1 Completed: No Word count: N/A
[Report This] Published: 23 Mar 2011 Updated: 23 Mar 2011


Summary: Sherlock Holmes has gone missing while working on a case. Meanwhile, Scotland Yard goes to John Watson for help concerning another case. The two mysteries soon become one as Sherlock Holmes becomes the main suspect in a murder spree! Watson finds himself torn as The Yard pursues Holmes as their main suspect. As evidence mounts against the detective, Watson desperately searches. Can he find Holmes first? Can he solve this case before Scotland Yard arrests the world's only consulting detective? Whoever takes action, they must do it quickly. The evidence is drowning.
Categories: Fiction Characters: Blackwood, Constable Clarke, Inspector Gregson, Inspector Lestrade, John Watson, Mrs. Hudson, Sherlock Holmes
Genre: Drama
Pairing: None
Story Elements: Death, Drowning, Drugging
Universe: 2009 Movie (RDJ)
Challenges:
Series: None
Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes Word count: N/A
[Report This] Published: 18 May 2011 Updated: 18 May 2011


The Game is Afoot by wheres_walnut Rated: Gen [ - ]
Summary: I want Holmes and Watson playing footy.

Playing footy together in Regent's Park or something.

Maybe ramdomly. Maybe during a case. Maybe it's dark out. And maybe they're constantly keeping track of their score in between rounds and making impromptu 'goals' with random objects in peoples' houses (a la, a vase into the fireplace) or while interviewing clients.

I want dirt. And sweat. And someone falling on their shoulder or sliding dramatically and missing the ball anyways. And tackling. I want someone cheating and not using standardized rules or, the 'Cambridge rules' (as they came to be known as the sport gradually became less chaotic in the 1800s).

I want maybe an official game to settle the score, and suddenly, what, Clarky and others join in and, what, it's raining, and, what, soaked shirts and sweat.

And what's more, I don't even care who wins ;)
Categories: Art, Fiction Characters: Constable Clarke, Inspector Gregson, Inspector Lestrade, John Watson, Sherlock Holmes
Genre: Humour
Pairing: None
Story Elements: None
Universe: 2009 Movie (RDJ)
Challenges:
Series: None
Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes Word count: N/A
[Report This] Published: 15 Feb 2011 Updated: 15 Feb 2011


The House Call by ingridmatthews Rated: Teen [ - ]
Summary: Can we get some h/c with Watson being the one hurt? And Holmes is trying to take care of him BUT HE DOESN'T KNOW HOW but he just can't bare to see Watson in pain.

MAYBE HE TRACKS DOWN THE THUGS THAT HURT HIM AND ~TAKES CARE OF BIDNESS~. Or just some wound tending and the such. I want to see Holmes taking care of Watson for once!
Categories: Fiction Characters: Constable Clarke, John Watson, Sherlock Holmes
Genre: H/C
Pairing: None
Story Elements: None
Universe: 2009 Movie (RDJ)
Challenges:
Series: None
Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes Word count: N/A
[Report This] Published: 16 Feb 2011 Updated: 16 Feb 2011