The Sherlock Holmes Kink Meme Archive
Our depravity knows no bounds
Genre: Crack
Other Results: 15 Series
 
 
Stories
...---... by Cutebutpsycho Rated: Gen [ - ]
Summary: help! I need to take a piss! badly! but the cat MY LORD AND RULER is sitting on me! adorable and blinky eyed and warm and purrry and WON'T LET ME GO!


HELP!
Categories: Ficlets Characters: Blackwood, Coward
Genre: Crack
Pairing: None
Story Elements: None
Universe: 2009 Movie (RDJ)
Challenges:
Series: ...---...
Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes Word count: N/A
[Report This] Published: 11 Feb 2011 Updated: 11 Feb 2011


Summary: Cleverbot drabble featuring bunnies, Sherlock and John.
Categories: Cleverbot Characters: John Watson, Sherlock Holmes
Genre: Crack
Pairing: None
Story Elements: None
Universe: Sherlock (BBC)
Challenges:
Series: 1000 Christmas Tree Bunnies
Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes Word count: N/A
[Report This] Published: 09 Feb 2011 Updated: 09 Feb 2011


24 HOURS by mothergoddamn Rated: Gen [ - ]
Summary: 24/Holmes Crossover
Categories: Ficlets Characters: Blackwood, Gladstone, John Watson, Sherlock Holmes
Genre: Crack, Humour
Pairing: None
Story Elements: None
Universe: 2009 Movie (RDJ)
Challenges:
Series: None
Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes Word count: N/A
[Report This] Published: 09 Feb 2011 Updated: 09 Feb 2011


A Collar In Time by Anon Rated: Gen [ - ]
Summary: Holmes confesses his love to Watson on Valentine's day. They get a cat.
Categories: Cleverbot Characters: John Watson, Sherlock Holmes
Genre: Crack
Pairing: None
Story Elements: None
Universe: Victorian Era (Non-Specific)
Challenges:
Series: None
Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes Word count: N/A
[Report This] Published: 09 Feb 2011 Updated: 09 Feb 2011


Summary:

A STUDY IN PINK: No longer a misnomer. Everyone is fabulously, wonderfully GAAAAAAY



Categories: Fiction Characters: John Watson, Sherlock Holmes
Genre: Crack
Pairing: None
Story Elements: None
Universe: Sherlock (BBC)
Challenges:
Series: None
Chapters: 1 Completed: No Word count: N/A
[Report This] Published: 10 Apr 2011 Updated: 10 Apr 2011


A Monkey in Time by Anon Rated: Gen [ - ]
Summary: Sherlock confesses his feelings to John. There's also a llama.
Categories: Cleverbot Characters: John Watson, Sherlock Holmes
Genre: Crack
Pairing: None
Story Elements: None
Universe: Sherlock (BBC)
Challenges:
Series: None
Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes Word count: N/A
[Report This] Published: 09 Feb 2011 Updated: 09 Feb 2011


A Ribbon in Time by Anon Rated: PORN [ - ]
Summary: Holmes is alone on Valentine's Day until Watson shows up.
Categories: Cleverbot Characters: John Watson, Sherlock Holmes
Genre: Crack, PWP
Pairing: None
Story Elements: None
Universe: Victorian Era (Non-Specific)
Challenges:
Series: None
Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes Word count: N/A
[Report This] Published: 09 Feb 2011 Updated: 09 Feb 2011


A Serpentine Occurrence by gilbygirl Rated: Gen [ - ]
Summary: Lestrade and Anderson reunite, thanks to one Mary Sue Tulip.
Categories: Cleverbot Characters: Gillian Anderson, Inspector Lestrade, OFC
Genre: Crack
Pairing: None
Story Elements: None
Universe: Sherlock (BBC)
Challenges:
Series: None
Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes Word count: N/A
[Report This] Published: 09 Feb 2011 Updated: 09 Feb 2011


Summary: Watson is the White Knight. Sherlock is the damsel in distress. Mycroft is the King. Lestrade is a peasant.
Moriarty is a dragon.
Categories: Fiction Characters: Gillian Anderson, Inspector Lestrade, James Moriarty, John Watson, Mycroft Holmes, Sally Donovan, Sherlock Holmes
Genre: Crack, Fluff
Pairing: None
Story Elements: None
Universe: Sherlock (BBC)
Challenges:
Series: None
Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes Word count: N/A
[Report This] Published: 07 Feb 2011 Updated: 07 Feb 2011


A Simple Plan by ljghunter Rated: PORN [ - ]
Summary: Errant comment: "And after 2 dozen doughnuts or so he could titty-fuck him! xD"
Categories: Fiction Characters: John Watson, Mycroft Holmes, Sherlock Holmes
Genre: Crack, Errant Comment
Pairing: None
Story Elements: Weight
Universe: Victorian Era (Non-Specific)
Challenges:
Series: None
Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes Word count: N/A
[Report This] Published: 16 Feb 2011 Updated: 16 Feb 2011


A Slight Case Of Gibberish by taleya Rated: PORN [ - ]
Summary: Holmes is inventing something electrical when the device malfunctions and shocks him. Watson finds him speaking with the most curious grammatical errors.

"Long Holmes is loooooooooooooong."

Lolcat Holmes.
Categories: Fiction Characters: John Watson, Sherlock Holmes
Genre: Crack, Humour
Pairing: None
Story Elements: None
Universe: 2009 Movie (RDJ)
Challenges:
Series: None
Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes Word count: 2580
[Report This] Published: 05 Feb 2011 Updated: 05 Feb 2011


A Steep Day To Break by Anon Rated: Gen [ - ]
Summary: Sherlock swallows a kitten at Lestrade's urging. Then someone tells them to get off their lawn.
Categories: Cleverbot Characters: Inspector Lestrade, Sherlock Holmes
Genre: Crack
Pairing: None
Story Elements: None
Universe: Victorian Era (Non-Specific)
Challenges:
Series: None
Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes Word count: N/A
[Report This] Published: 09 Feb 2011 Updated: 09 Feb 2011


A Story in Reverse by Anon Rated: PORN [ - ]
Summary:

"I just want to see Holmes getting fucked by a hollow dildo filled with bees." 


Categories: Ficlets Characters: John Watson, Sherlock Holmes
Genre: Crack
Pairing: None
Story Elements: None
Universe: Victorian Era (Non-Specific)
Challenges:
Series: None
Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes Word count: N/A
[Report This] Published: 13 Jun 2011 Updated: 13 Jun 2011


A STUDY IN MOTHERFUCKIN' PINK by Anon Rated: Teen [ - ]
Summary: Take A Study in Pink. Shove it through the voice of John Motherfucking Watson's "A Study in Motherfucking Scarlet."
Categories: Fiction Characters: John Watson, Sherlock Holmes
Genre: Crack, Humour
Pairing: None
Story Elements: None
Universe: Sherlock (BBC)
Challenges:
Series: None
Chapters: 1 Completed: No Word count: N/A
[Report This] Published: 21 Feb 2011 Updated: 21 Feb 2011


Summary: BBC! Sherlock's "A Study In Pink", as narrated by John Motherfucking Watson, MFAD and voice of the people.
Categories: Fiction Characters: Gillian Anderson, Anthea, John Watson, Mycroft Holmes, Sally Donovan, Sherlock Holmes
Genre: Crack
Pairing: None
Story Elements: None
Universe: Sherlock (BBC)
Challenges:
Series: None
Chapters: 1 Completed: No Word count: N/A
[Report This] Published: 28 Feb 2011 Updated: 28 Feb 2011


A Wet Occurence by blighted_garden Rated: Teen [ - ]
Summary: Mary Sue Pumpernickel reunites lovers Holmes and Watson.
Categories: Cleverbot Characters: John Watson, OFC, Sherlock Holmes
Genre: Crack
Pairing: None
Story Elements: None
Universe: Victorian Era (Non-Specific)
Challenges:
Series: None
Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes Word count: N/A
[Report This] Published: 09 Feb 2011 Updated: 09 Feb 2011


Summary: Errant comment: "AH WHY IS THERE NOT MORE RIGHT NOW"
Categories: Ficlets Characters: Irene Adler, Sherlock Holmes
Genre: Crack
Pairing: None
Story Elements: None
Universe: 2009 Movie (RDJ)
Challenges:
Series: AH WHY IS THERE NOT MORE RIGHT NOW
Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes Word count: N/A
[Report This] Published: 10 Feb 2011 Updated: 10 Feb 2011


Albino Cave Dweller by mothergoddamn Rated: PORN [ - ]
Summary: WANT TO SEE YOU MAKE USE OF AS MANY OF THESE HORRIBLE EUPHEMISMS FOR PENIS AS YOU CAN IN ONE FIC.MAKE ME WINCE AND LAUGH AND CRY AND THEN DIE A LITTLE INSIDE. MULTIPLE MINI!FILLS ENCOURAGED, EVERYONE CAN PLAY. ULTRA BONUS POINTS FOR WORKING IN LESTRADE.
Categories: Ficlets Characters: Inspector Lestrade, John Watson, Sherlock Holmes
Genre: Crack, Humour
Pairing: None
Story Elements: None
Universe: Victorian Era (Non-Specific)
Challenges:
Series: None
Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes Word count: N/A
[Report This] Published: 05 Feb 2011 Updated: 05 Feb 2011


Summary: Holmes can only say "Pants"
Categories: Ficlets Characters: John Watson, Sherlock Holmes
Genre: Crack, Humour
Pairing: None
Story Elements: None
Universe: Strand Canon
Challenges:
Series: None
Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes Word count: N/A
[Report This] Published: 09 Feb 2011 Updated: 09 Feb 2011


Summary: Lestrade. Gregson. Penetration.
Categories: Cleverbot Characters: Inspector Gregson, Inspector Lestrade
Genre: Crack
Pairing: None
Story Elements: None
Universe: Victorian Era (Non-Specific)
Challenges:
Series: None
Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes Word count: N/A
[Report This] Published: 09 Feb 2011 Updated: 09 Feb 2011


Summary: In honor of Talk Like A Pirate Day, we found an unedited version of the Adventure of the Speckled Band.
Categories: Ficlets Characters: John Watson, Sherlock Holmes
Genre: Crack
Pairing: None
Story Elements: None
Universe: Strand Canon
Challenges:
Series: None
Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes Word count: N/A
[Report This] Published: 13 Feb 2011 Updated: 13 Feb 2011


Summary: http://xkcd.com/1002/

Sherlock is an android specifically built to win at one of the last two games.
Categories: Art Characters: Sherlock Holmes
Genre: Crack, Crossover, Humour
Pairing: None
Story Elements: None
Universe: 2009 Movie (RDJ)
Challenges:
Series: None
Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes Word count: N/A
[Report This] Published: 05 Feb 2012 Updated: 05 Feb 2012


Antique Notions by Anon Rated: Teen [ - ]
Summary: Holmes, high on MDMA (or Ecstacy), goes antiquing.
Categories: Fiction Characters: John Watson, Sherlock Holmes
Genre: Crack
Pairing: None
Story Elements: Objectum Sexuality
Universe: Sherlock (BBC)
Challenges:
Series: None
Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes Word count: N/A
[Report This] Published: 07 Feb 2011 Updated: 07 Feb 2011


Apple peels by Anon Rated: Gen [ - ]
Summary: You know how you can peel an apple so that the peel goes off in one long ribbon? Let's say Watson does that at the breakfast table, cos he doesn't like the peel, but Holmes does.

So Watson has the apple in hand, peeling it, and Holmes has the end of the ribbon in his mouth, eating. And they reading the morning paper at the same time, cos to them that's a completely normal thing to do.
Categories: Art Characters: John Watson, Sherlock Holmes
Genre: Crack
Pairing: None
Story Elements: None
Universe: Victorian Era (Non-Specific)
Challenges:
Series: None
Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes Word count: N/A
[Report This] Published: 16 Feb 2011 Updated: 16 Feb 2011


Apple peels by spacefall Rated: Gen [ - ]
Summary: You know how you can peel an apple so that the peel goes off in one long ribbon? Let's say Watson does that at the breakfast table, cos he doesn't like the peel, but Holmes does.

So Watson has the apple in hand, peeling it, and Holmes has the end of the ribbon in his mouth, eating. And they reading the morning paper at the same time, cos to them that's a completely normal thing to do.
Categories: Art Characters: John Watson, Sherlock Holmes
Genre: Crack
Pairing: None
Story Elements: None
Universe: Victorian Era (Non-Specific)
Challenges:
Series: None
Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes Word count: N/A
[Report This] Published: 16 Feb 2011 Updated: 16 Feb 2011