The Sherlock Holmes Kink Meme Archive
Our depravity knows no bounds
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Summary: Holmes wants to want Watson the way Watson wants to be wanted but can't cause he's totally asexual. Cue guilty!Holmes and sad but understanding!Watson
Categories: Fiction Characters: John Watson, Sherlock Holmes
Genre: Angst, H/C
Pairing: None
Story Elements: Asexuality
Universe: 2009 Movie (RDJ)
Challenges:
Series: None
Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes Word count: N/A
[Report This] Published: 09 Feb 2011 Updated: 09 Feb 2011


Asexual!Hag Mary by Cutebutpsycho Rated: Teen [ - ]
Summary:

"You mean you've never..."
"No interest my dear. none whatsoever"
"Don't you even" *jerking motion*
"Good god, what use would that be?"
"HE'S GOT THE SEX DRIVE OF A DEAD PARROT MARY, STOP ASKING. I ROOMED WITH HIM FOR YEARS. HE'S GOT ABOUT AS MUCH INTEREST IN SEX AS I DO IN MARMOSETS"


Categories: Fiction Characters: John Watson, Sherlock Holmes
Genre: Drama , Fluff, H/C, Humour
Pairing: None
Story Elements: Asexuality
Universe: 2009 Movie (RDJ)
Challenges:
Series: None
Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes Word count: N/A
[Report This] Published: 16 Feb 2011 Updated: 16 Feb 2011


Summary: Asexual!Sherlock going through a phase of intense research about sexuality, pleasure and sexual attraction etc in the hopes that it would help him understand why everyone makes such a fuss about it.
Categories: Fiction Characters: Sherlock Holmes
Genre: Drama , PWP
Pairing: None
Story Elements: Asexuality
Universe: Sherlock (BBC)
Challenges:
Series: None
Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes Word count: N/A
[Report This] Published: 15 Feb 2011 Updated: 15 Feb 2011


Associations by ancalime8301 Rated: Teen [ - ]
Summary: Spoilers a-comin' in a very vague kinda way:

A few months after the end of A Game of Shadows, Holmes asks Watson (and Mary, if you like,) to a concert. It's only once they're on the steps of the concert hall that Watson sees the posters advertising the performance of some of Schubert's works, including Die Forelle.

Que Holmes, who is determined to overcome the vividly terrifying memory of being strung up from the rafters by a meat hook (and probably just that whole, terrible affair in general,) and Watson, who knows what all this is about but is too stalwart to do anything but sit down, shut up, and let Holmes squeeze the living daylights out of his hand.
Categories: Fiction Characters: John Watson, Mary Watson nee Morstan, Sherlock Holmes
Genre: Angst, Drama , H/C
Pairing: None
Story Elements: None
Universe: 2009 Movie (RDJ)
Challenges:
Series: None
Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes Word count: N/A
[Report This] Published: 08 Jan 2012 Updated: 08 Jan 2012


Assumption by Anon Rated: Teen [ - ]
Summary: Watson gets a call of an explosion at a restaurant. Mary and Holmes were involved. He gets there and Holmes is halfway concious, but very out of it, Mary's not. Watson immediately leaps to the wrong conclusion, even as he's taking care of both of them. "Holmes, how dare you take my wife into a dangerous situation" etc etc etc even as he knows he shouldn't blame Holmes and Mary is a grown woman in her own right.

Eventually Holmes wanders out of the Watson house, still half-concussed and confused, but convinced there had to be a case somehow because he couldn't remember the reason they were there. Of course, when Mary wakes up and the fire report's in, it turns out it was a complete accident. A gas main exploded or the like, and the pair of them were just at the restaurant for a lunch because they're awkwardly trying to call a truce over all this warring over John. In fact, Holmes moved to protect her during the blast, and that's how he was hurt.


Watson goes to apologise, but Holmes isn't there....
Categories: Fiction Characters: John Watson, Mary Watson nee Morstan, Sherlock Holmes
Genre: H/C
Pairing: None
Story Elements: None
Universe: 2009 Movie (RDJ)
Challenges:
Series: None
Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes Word count: N/A
[Report This] Published: 18 Feb 2011 Updated: 18 Feb 2011


Assumptions by ancalime8301 Rated: PORN [ - ]
Summary: Holmes and watson get it on when drunk. The next morning holmes realises what he's done and flees in horror, convinced he's just destroyed the friendship, as well as essentially raped Watson because while they were both inebriated, Holmes refuses to accept the fact that he has less than perfect control at any time.

Watson hunts him down and finds holmes half-starved, stressed and falling apart. Turns out he wasn't so drunk as to be taken advantage of, merely enough to finally loosen up and do something he's wanted to for years.
Categories: Fiction Characters: John Watson, Sherlock Holmes
Genre: Angst, H/C
Pairing: None
Story Elements: None
Universe: Victorian Era (Non-Specific)
Challenges:
Series: None
Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes Word count: N/A
[Report This] Published: 09 Feb 2011 Updated: 09 Feb 2011


At a Blind Corner by eggshellseas Rated: PORN [ - ]
Summary: I've seen the occasional fic where Watson's military training is triggered when Holmes tells him to do something and he will obey without hesitation. I want a fic where Holmes uses that to his full advantage. Holmes will give Watson whatever orders he wishes and with that tone of command, Watson is helpless to resist.
Categories: Fiction Characters: John Watson, Sherlock Holmes
Genre: First Times, H/C
Pairing: None
Story Elements: None
Universe: 2009 Movie (RDJ)
Challenges:
Series: None
Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes Word count: N/A
[Report This] Published: 06 Feb 2011 Updated: 06 Feb 2011


At The End of the World by Anon Rated: PORN [ - ]
Summary: It's exactly what it sounds like. I want CRAZY Fifth Element AU, with perfect supreme-being Leeloo!Holmes to save the world in some ancient Egyptian temple and down-on-his-luck ex-military Korben!Watson to save the beautiful and strong but-still-very-fragile Holmes with the power of LOOOOOVE. Lestrade can be Ruby Rhod. b29;

I WILL TAKE FANART OF RDJ!HOLMES IN THAT LITTLE BANDAGE GET UP OR THE ORANGE-JELLY-SUSPENDER GET UP. EITHER OR. OR BOTH, BABY; OR BOTH.
Categories: Fiction Characters: John Watson, Sherlock Holmes
Genre: AU
Pairing: None
Story Elements: None
Universe: None
Challenges:
Series: None
Chapters: 1 Completed: No Word count: N/A
[Report This] Published: 08 Feb 2011 Updated: 08 Feb 2011


Summary: Miss Jane Marple and Holmes have an 'unexpected' connection.
Categories: Fiction Characters: John Watson, Sherlock Holmes
Genre: AU , Crossover
Pairing: None
Story Elements: None
Universe: Victorian Era (Non-Specific)
Challenges:
Series: None
Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes Word count: N/A
[Report This] Published: 06 Feb 2011 Updated: 06 Feb 2011


Atmosphere by Cutebutpsycho Rated: PORN [ - ]
Summary: Can I get some Holmes/Irene up in here? Specifically, Holmes/Irene in their room at the Grand? I mean, why would Irene refer to that room as "[their] old room"? Maybe because THEY DID IT ALL OVER THE DANG PLACE IN THERE.

Fun, sexy, half-clothed, naked, kinky, vanilla, drunk, sober, passionate, steamy shenanigans plzkthxbye!
Categories: Ficlets Characters: Irene Adler, Sherlock Holmes
Genre: BDSM, PWP
Pairing: None
Story Elements: None
Universe: 2009 Movie (RDJ)
Challenges:
Series: None
Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes Word count: N/A
[Report This] Published: 05 Feb 2011 Updated: 05 Feb 2011


Summary: So, computer engineer!Watson having to fix Holmes' computer after he fucks it up doing anything Technologically Impaired Duck would do. Like, delete the System32 folder.
Categories: Fiction Characters: John Watson, Sherlock Holmes
Genre: AU
Pairing: None
Story Elements: None
Universe: Modern Era (Non-Specific)
Challenges:
Series: None
Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes Word count: N/A
[Report This] Published: 05 Feb 2011 Updated: 05 Feb 2011


Summary: Watson. Mary. Karma Sutra
Categories: Fiction Characters: John Watson, Mary Watson nee Morstan
Genre: PWP
Pairing: None
Story Elements: None
Universe: 2009 Movie (RDJ)
Challenges:
Series: None
Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes Word count: N/A
[Report This] Published: 07 Feb 2011 Updated: 07 Feb 2011


Autoerotica by Cutebutpsycho Rated: Gen [ - ]
Summary: Sherlock and John bond over the Aston Martin V12 Vantage. Subtext goes wild.
Categories: Ficlets Characters: John Watson, Sherlock Holmes
Genre: Humour
Pairing: None
Story Elements: None
Universe: Sherlock (BBC)
Challenges:
Series: None
Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes Word count: N/A
[Report This] Published: 08 Feb 2011 Updated: 08 Feb 2011


Summary: John comes home one day to be greeted by( link to photo) a baby duct taped to the wall.
Categories: Ficlets Characters: John Watson, Sherlock Holmes
Genre: Crack
Pairing: None
Story Elements: None
Universe: Sherlock (BBC)
Challenges:
Series: None
Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes Word count: N/A
[Report This] Published: 14 Feb 2011 Updated: 14 Feb 2011


Summary: I've written a fill for the Mitchell and Webb look Holmes and Watson sketch (anyone yet to see it, and interested -> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pp02ubGuTIU). I can not for the life of me find the original prompt, so here is the fill. Also, spoilers for that sketch.
Categories: Ficlets Characters: John Watson, Sherlock Holmes
Genre: Angst
Pairing: None
Story Elements: None
Universe: Victorian Era (Non-Specific)
Challenges:
Series: None
Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes Word count: N/A
[Report This] Published: 15 Feb 2011 Updated: 15 Feb 2011


Bad, bad, bad idea. by Cutebutpsycho Rated: Gen [ - ]
Summary: Drabble Challenge : Bad, bad, bad idea.
Categories: Ficlets Characters: Gladstone, Sherlock Holmes
Genre: Humour
Pairing: None
Story Elements: None
Universe: 2009 Movie (RDJ)
Challenges:
Series: None
Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes Word count: N/A
[Report This] Published: 08 Feb 2011 Updated: 08 Feb 2011


Badly Written Smut by softassand Rated: PORN [ - ]
Summary: I want badly written smut and I want it KNAOWWWWWWW. Because I have a thing for crack...
Categories: Ficlets Characters: John Watson, Sherlock Holmes
Genre: Crack, Humour
Pairing: None
Story Elements: None
Universe: Victorian Era (Non-Specific)
Challenges:
Series: None
Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes Word count: N/A
[Report This] Published: 10 Feb 2011 Updated: 10 Feb 2011


Summary: Holmes colors with the Irregulars.
Categories: Ficlets Characters: Irregulars, John Watson, Sherlock Holmes
Genre: Fluff
Pairing: None
Story Elements: None
Universe: Victorian Era (Non-Specific)
Challenges:
Series: None
Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes Word count: N/A
[Report This] Published: 06 Feb 2011 Updated: 06 Feb 2011


Balloon by Cutebutpsycho Rated: Gen [ - ]
Summary: Holmes meets his greatest challenge: A little girl
Categories: Fiction Characters: John Watson, Sherlock Holmes
Genre: Fluff
Pairing: None
Story Elements: None
Universe: Victorian Era (Non-Specific)
Challenges:
Series: None
Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes Word count: N/A
[Report This] Published: 11 Feb 2011 Updated: 11 Feb 2011


Summary: Watson reluctantly(?) dresses in drag to watch over....and eventually save....Holmes. Prompt includes link to Jude Law in drag.
Categories: Ficlets Characters: John Watson, Sherlock Holmes
Genre: Humour
Pairing: None
Story Elements: None
Universe: 2009 Movie (RDJ)
Challenges:
Series: None
Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes Word count: N/A
[Report This] Published: 13 Feb 2011 Updated: 13 Feb 2011


Bamf!Gladstone by reona32 Rated: Teen [ - ]
Summary: Normally Gladstone is quite laid back, but because of another animal or person, he starts growling and snarling. He does everything he can to try to get to them. Holmes and/or Watson try to get him under control, but he snarls at them as if to say "BACK OFF! I GOT THIS! HE'S MINE!"
Categories: Fiction Characters: Gladstone, John Watson, Sherlock Holmes
Genre: Drama , H/C, Humour
Pairing: None
Story Elements: None
Universe: 2009 Movie (RDJ)
Challenges:
Series: None
Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes Word count: N/A
[Report This] Published: 10 Feb 2011 Updated: 10 Feb 2011


BAMF!Watson by lilapaddy Rated: PORN [ - ]
Summary: So, Holmes and Watson are making their way through a bad part of London. On their way to meet Lestrade at a crime scene or something.

This guy starts tailing them and insulting Holmes. Maybe Holmes turned his friends in? IDK, somehow Holmes has "wronged" this guy.

So. He's following them. Insulting Holmes. Please, make him VILE. Holmes ignores him, whatever, he's used to this. He could care less.

Finally, this guy reaches out and grabs Holmes's arm to get his attention.

Watson, who has been a ticking bomb the entire time, loses it and beats the criminal into a pulp with his cane of death.

Bonus points and hugs if Holmes is, like, wildly turned on and shows his appreciation by pushing Watson into the nearest alleyway and giving him THE MOST EPIC BLOWJOB EVER.

Please make this happen?
Categories: Fiction Characters: John Watson, Sherlock Holmes
Genre: PWP
Pairing: None
Story Elements: None
Universe: 2009 Movie (RDJ)
Challenges:
Series: None
Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes Word count: N/A
[Report This] Published: 16 Feb 2011 Updated: 16 Feb 2011


Bamfy Ducklings by paperflower86 Rated: Gen [ - ]
Summary: Watson gets Holmes pregnant. He lays eggs. Ducklings hatch. That said I demand art of BAMFY ducklings with bowler hats and moustaches perambulating behind Holmes...

Bamfy Ducks Perambulating Behind Holmes
Categories: Art Characters: Sherlock Holmes
Genre: Humour
Pairing: None
Story Elements: None
Universe: 2009 Movie (RDJ)
Challenges:
Series: Holmes and his ducklings
Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes Word count: N/A
[Report This] Published: 06 Feb 2011 Updated: 06 Feb 2011


Summary: STOP MELTING MY BARBIE DOLLS!
Categories: Ficlets Characters: John Watson, Sherlock Holmes
Genre: Crack, Errant Comment, Humour
Pairing: None
Story Elements: None
Universe: 2009 Movie (RDJ)
Challenges:
Series: None
Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes Word count: N/A
[Report This] Published: 06 Feb 2011 Updated: 06 Feb 2011


Bargains by Anon Rated: Gen [ - ]
Summary: Watson becomes very ill. Holmes is the most bad-ass mother hen to ever mother hen.
Categories: Ficlets Characters: John Watson, Sherlock Holmes
Genre: H/C
Pairing: None
Story Elements: None
Universe: Victorian Era (Non-Specific)
Challenges:
Series: None
Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes Word count: N/A
[Report This] Published: 15 Feb 2011 Updated: 15 Feb 2011