The Sherlock Holmes Kink Meme Archive
Our depravity knows no bounds
Penname: random_nexus [Contact]
Real name: random_nexus
Status: Member
Member Since: 04 Feb 2011
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Stories by random_nexus
A Delicate Subject by random_nexus Rated: Gen [ - ]
Summary: How can I put this ... um, everyone farts -- even Queen Victoria. It's a slightly embarrassing though sometimes hilarious part of being human. What I want to know is how did it go with Holmes and Watson? Not details, obv, but ... etiquette, sharing rooms, becoming comfortable with each other. Does Watson have guilty army habits? Is Holmes indifferent to his body's activities? Do they chuckle about it? Studiously ignore Holmes's epic trouser-trump? What about train carriages, shared beds, in front of clients? When they're in a relationship? This must seem like the most peurile prompt ever, but it was just the most unglamorous, human, pointlessly trifling domestic detail that I could think of ... and I sort of want to see that stuff XD
Categories: Fiction Characters: John Watson, Sherlock Holmes
Genre: Humour
Pairing: None
Story Elements: None
Universe: Victorian Era (Non-Specific)
Challenges:
Series: None
Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes Word count: N/A
[Report This] Published: 09 Feb 2011 Updated: 09 Feb 2011


Summary: Sequel to AH WHY IS THERE NOT MORE RIGHT NOW.
Categories: Fiction Characters: Irene Adler, John Watson, Sherlock Holmes
Genre: Humour, PWP
Pairing: None
Story Elements: Cunnilingus, Voyeurism
Universe: 2009 Movie (RDJ)
Challenges:
Series: AH WHY IS THERE NOT MORE RIGHT NOW
Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes Word count: N/A
[Report This] Published: 10 Feb 2011 Updated: 10 Feb 2011


Desk Job by random_nexus Rated: PORN [ - ]
Summary: Here's what I want. Pretty simple. Office sex. I want two people getting it on in an office. I don't care if they're fucking in the chair and straddling or if someone's getting pounded from behind with their hands on the desk.
Categories: Fiction Characters: John Watson, Sherlock Holmes
Genre: PWP
Pairing: None
Story Elements: Anal Sex, Fellatio
Universe: Sherlock (BBC)
Challenges:
Series: None
Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes Word count: N/A
[Report This] Published: 11 Feb 2011 Updated: 11 Feb 2011


Distraction by random_nexus Rated: PORN [ - ]
Summary: For Challenge #6

There's been a lot of fics written about first times, but what about only times? Basically, something that happens to a character or characters only one time.
Categories: Fiction Characters: Inspector Lestrade, John Watson, Sherlock Holmes
Genre: H/C, PWP
Pairing: None
Story Elements: None
Universe: Sherlock (BBC)
Challenges:
Series: Challenge #6
Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes Word count: N/A
[Report This] Published: 18 Feb 2011 Updated: 18 Feb 2011


Summary: John may or may not have travelled in time and met a man claiming to be Sherlock Holmes! Wackiness ensues.
Categories: Fiction Characters: John Watson, Sherlock Holmes
Genre: Crossover, Fluff
Pairing: None
Story Elements: None
Universe: Granada (Brett) , Sherlock (BBC)
Challenges:
Series: None
Chapters: 1 Completed: No Word count: N/A
[Report This] Published: 10 Feb 2011 Updated: 10 Feb 2011


Ginger Nuts by random_nexus Rated: PORN [ - ]
Summary: While intimate for the first time John discovers Sherlock has a terrible dark secret.
Categories: Ficlets Characters: John Watson, Sherlock Holmes
Genre: Crack, PWP
Pairing: None
Story Elements: None
Universe: Sherlock (BBC)
Challenges:
Series: None
Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes Word count: N/A
[Report This] Published: 14 Feb 2011 Updated: 14 Feb 2011


High Adventure by random_nexus Rated: Teen [ - ]
Summary: Sherlock and John talk about pirates after imbibing a special concoction.
Categories: Fiction Characters: John Watson, Sherlock Holmes
Genre: Fluff
Pairing: None
Story Elements: None
Universe: Sherlock (BBC)
Challenges:
Series: None
Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes Word count: N/A
[Report This] Published: 06 Feb 2011 Updated: 06 Feb 2011


Summary: The Bulwer-Lytton Contest has people submit the worst opening sentence from the worst novels never written. Some of them are truly inspiring in their awfulness.

In that vein: write the worst opening sentence for the worst Holmes story never written.
Categories: Ficlets Characters: John Watson, Sherlock Holmes
Genre: Crack
Pairing: None
Story Elements: None
Universe: None
Challenges:
Series: It was a dark and stormy night
Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes Word count: N/A
[Report This] Published: 17 Feb 2011 Updated: 17 Feb 2011


Love Unnoticed by random_nexus Rated: Gen [ - ]
Summary: For Challenge #4

How does a person know when another loves them? I want to see the many different ways people show love for each other, be it love notes, getting their tea exactly the way they want it or fun sexy times.

The catch? No H/W. They get featured enough. Give other pairings a chance to shine!
Categories: Fiction Characters: Inspector Lestrade, John Watson
Genre: Angst
Pairing: None
Story Elements: None
Universe: Strand Canon
Challenges:
Series: Challenge #4
Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes Word count: N/A
[Report This] Published: 18 Feb 2011 Updated: 18 Feb 2011


Loving Wife by random_nexus Rated: PORN [ - ]
Summary: So there's a common belief that a woman hits her sexual peak in her 30s, whereas a man hits his in his 20s. Now I know we have a lot of het fic where the man makes the move first and gets the woman going, but I'd kind of like the reverse of that.
Something like this:
Watson: "GAH! MARY! NOT TONIGHT! I'M TIRED. I'VE BEEN CHASING CRIMINALS ALL DAY! ARG!"
Mary: "YOU DON'T HAVE TO DO A DAMN THING, JUST GET AN ERECTION AND LAY THERE. I WANT YOUR DICK. NOW. FUCK ME IF YOU WANT TO LIVE. TO HELL WITH THE LONDON UNDERWORLD. I AM YOUR WIFE AND I DEMAND A DEEP DICKING."
Puppies and cookies to the Anon who can pull this off.
Categories: Fiction Characters: John Watson, Mary Watson nee Morstan
Genre: PWP
Pairing: None
Story Elements: None
Universe: Victorian Era (Non-Specific)
Challenges:
Series: None
Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes Word count: N/A
[Report This] Published: 15 Feb 2011 Updated: 15 Feb 2011


Summary: John Watson is the master of disguise. Sherlock takes advantage of it.
Categories: Ficlets Characters: John Watson, Mycroft Holmes, Sherlock Holmes
Genre: Crack
Pairing: None
Story Elements: None
Universe: Sherlock (BBC)
Challenges:
Series: None
Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes Word count: N/A
[Report This] Published: 05 Feb 2011 Updated: 05 Feb 2011


New Neighbours by random_nexus Rated: PORN [ - ]
Summary: There's a couple moving in next to Holmes' and Watson's house who like to have really loud sex at night. The boys decide to retaliate.
Categories: Fiction Characters: John Watson, Sherlock Holmes
Genre: Humour
Pairing: None
Story Elements: None
Universe: 2009 Movie (RDJ)
Challenges:
Series: None
Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes Word count: N/A
[Report This] Published: 16 Feb 2011 Updated: 16 Feb 2011


Not Molly by random_nexus Rated: Gen [ - ]
Summary: Most of the time Sherlock Holmes seems to get what he wants, one way or another. Thwart him, KinkMeme. Make him work for something he normally gets. I want him to have it in the end, sure, but make him earn it or at least have to go out of his way for it. Doesn't have to be anything big or complicated, either. The trick? Don't let it be John Watson that he wants it from or that makes him jump through hoops or whatever. Use someone else. Mycroft, Lestrade, even Molly - someone else, I don't care. Put yourself in there. Canon, Movie, BBC. Smut, Gen, Humor, Crack. It's all good.
Categories: Fiction Characters: John Watson, OFC, Sherlock Holmes
Genre: Humour
Pairing: None
Story Elements: None
Universe: Sherlock (BBC)
Challenges:
Series: None
Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes Word count: N/A
[Report This] Published: 11 Feb 2011 Updated: 11 Feb 2011


One last fling by random_nexus Rated: PORN [ - ]
Summary: Have we had this yet? BBC!verse. Sherlock/the skull on the mantle. Skullfucking.
Categories: Fiction Characters: Inanimate Objects, Sherlock Holmes
Genre: Crack, PWP
Pairing: None
Story Elements: Objectum Sexuality
Universe: Sherlock (BBC)
Challenges:
Series: None
Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes Word count: N/A
[Report This] Published: 10 Feb 2011 Updated: 10 Feb 2011


Summary: One Word Prompts - "Disinter"
Categories: Ficlets Characters: Sherlock Holmes
Genre: Fluff
Pairing: None
Story Elements: None
Universe: Victorian Era (Non-Specific)
Challenges:
Series: One Word Prompts
Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes Word count: N/A
[Report This] Published: 16 Feb 2011 Updated: 16 Feb 2011


Summary: One Word Prompts - "Drip"
Categories: Ficlets Characters: John Watson, Sherlock Holmes
Genre: PWP
Pairing: None
Story Elements: None
Universe: Victorian Era (Non-Specific)
Challenges:
Series: One Word Prompts
Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes Word count: N/A
[Report This] Published: 16 Feb 2011 Updated: 16 Feb 2011


Summary: One Word Prompts - "Lack"
Categories: Ficlets Characters: John Watson, Mary Watson nee Morstan
Genre: Angst
Pairing: None
Story Elements: None
Universe: Victorian Era (Non-Specific)
Challenges:
Series: One Word Prompts
Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes Word count: N/A
[Report This] Published: 16 Feb 2011 Updated: 16 Feb 2011


Summary: One Word Prompts - "Traces"
Categories: Ficlets Characters: John Watson, Sherlock Holmes
Genre: Drama
Pairing: None
Story Elements: None
Universe: Victorian Era (Non-Specific)
Challenges:
Series: One Word Prompts
Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes Word count: N/A
[Report This] Published: 16 Feb 2011 Updated: 16 Feb 2011


Summary: One Word Prompts - "Value"
Categories: Ficlets Characters: John Watson, Sherlock Holmes
Genre: Fluff
Pairing: None
Story Elements: None
Universe: Victorian Era (Non-Specific)
Challenges:
Series: One Word Prompts
Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes Word count: N/A
[Report This] Published: 16 Feb 2011 Updated: 16 Feb 2011


OTP!Outed by random_nexus Rated: Gen [ - ]
Summary: BBC!verse, Jumper/Coat (scarf is jealous)
Categories: Ficlets Characters: Inanimate Objects, John Watson, Sherlock Holmes
Genre: Crack
Pairing: None
Story Elements: None
Universe: Sherlock (BBC)
Challenges:
Series: None
Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes Word count: N/A
[Report This] Published: 06 Feb 2011 Updated: 06 Feb 2011


Summary: Know what we haven't had in a while? Good old uniform kink! So let's put Watson back in that sexy uniform somehow! Idk, maybe Holmes finds a photo of him in uniform and is all hot and bothered by it? Whatever! Just put Watson in his uniform!
Categories: Fiction Characters: John Watson, Sherlock Holmes
Genre: PWP
Pairing: None
Story Elements: Masturbation, Uniforms
Universe: 2009 Movie (RDJ)
Challenges:
Series: None
Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes Word count: N/A
[Report This] Published: 17 Feb 2011 Updated: 17 Feb 2011


Playing Games by random_nexus Rated: Teen [ - ]
Summary: Were-Mycroft wakes Lestrade up for some games.
Categories: Fiction Characters: Inspector Lestrade, Mycroft Holmes
Genre: Fluff
Pairing: None
Story Elements: Supernatural
Universe: Sherlock (BBC)
Challenges:
Series: When the Impossible Refuses to be Eliminated
Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes Word count: N/A
[Report This] Published: 08 Feb 2011 Updated: 08 Feb 2011


Summary: BBC verse. Drunk texting! Sherlock totally can't hold his liquor, and sends John a series of increasingly drunken absurd texts. Or sexy texts, whatever. Crack is appreciated (always). Throw some zombies or ninjas or karaoke in there if you really wanna make my day.
Categories: Fiction Characters: John Watson, Sherlock Holmes
Genre: Humour
Pairing: None
Story Elements: None
Universe: Sherlock (BBC)
Challenges:
Series: None
Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes Word count: N/A
[Report This] Published: 15 Feb 2011 Updated: 15 Feb 2011


Summary: Sherlock pays John the ultimate compliment: He finds him interesting.
Categories: Fiction Characters: John Watson, Sherlock Holmes
Genre: First Times, Fluff
Pairing: None
Story Elements: None
Universe: Sherlock (BBC)
Challenges:
Series: None
Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes Word count: N/A
[Report This] Published: 06 Feb 2011 Updated: 06 Feb 2011


Summary: You know those long, thin, colorful balloons out of which you can make animals? Holme's cock is one of those. Watson finds it very, very funny. He likes the noise. And tries to make animals.
Categories: Fiction Characters: John Watson, Sherlock Holmes
Genre: Crack
Pairing: None
Story Elements: Fellatio
Universe: Victorian Era (Non-Specific)
Challenges:
Series: None
Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes Word count: N/A
[Report This] Published: 16 Feb 2011 Updated: 16 Feb 2011