The Sherlock Holmes Kink Meme Archive
Our depravity knows no bounds
Penname: paperflower86 [Contact]
Real name: paperflower86
Status: Member
Member Since: 04 Feb 2011
Website: http://paperflower86.deviantart.com/
Beta-reader: No

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Stories by paperflower86
Summary: Everybody wants Watson. Observe:

Mrs. Hudson--makes his favorite jam
Mary Morstan--visits entirely too frequently, drops hints about marriage (and doilies)
Mycroft Holmes--invites him over for "discreet visits" to the Diogenes
Lord Blackwood--kidnaps Watson for "secret sex rituals" with him and Coward
Coward--see above
Sebastian Moran--shares exciting stories about India (while cheating at cards, but still...)
James Moriarty--awkwardly attempts to be romantic by buying flowers, chocolate, vaguely threatening stalker-ish love notes, etc.
Gladstone--looking at his leg in that manner
Lestrade (and the rest of Scotland Yard)--looks at in an inappropriate manner, shamelessly flirts when Holmes is (supposedly) out of earshot

Sherlock Holmes is jealous as hell, and totally rejects this BS. He holds a meeting to discuss "the state of the Watson" with everyone present. Namely, Watson is HIS, and everyone else should go find their own dashing, ex-military boyfriends with pretty moustaches.
Categories: Art Characters: Blackwood, Gladstone, Inspector Lestrade, James Moriarty, John Watson, Mrs. Hudson, Sherlock Holmes
Genre: Humour
Pairing: None
Story Elements: None
Universe: 2009 Movie (RDJ)
Challenges:
Series: None
Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes Word count: N/A
[Report This] Published: 07 Feb 2011 Updated: 07 Feb 2011


A seaside Holiday by paperflower86 Rated: Teen [ - ]
Summary: Any 'verse.

Watson is fed up with London and Holmes can't find a case that will keep him busy for longer than five minutes. So Watson books a holiday at the seaside.

It's a disaster from start to finish, of course -- Holmes can't swim as well as he thinks he can, they get sunburned (if that is possible in England), and Holmes gets himself enmeshed in solving the Case of the Dead Seagull.

Cue Watson being delightfully exasperated. "I JUST WANTED A BLOODY HOLIDAY! IS THAT TOO MUCH TO SODDING WELL ASK?"
Categories: Fiction, Art Characters: John Watson, Sherlock Holmes
Genre: Humour
Pairing: None
Story Elements: None
Universe: 2009 Movie (RDJ)
Challenges:
Series: None
Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes Word count: N/A
[Report This] Published: 18 Feb 2011 Updated: 18 Feb 2011


Absinthe by paperflower86 Rated: Gen [ - ]
Summary: Have we had fic with absinthe yet? Cause if not, we need to rectify this egregious sitch IMMEDIATELY, my bunnies. Substance-abuse!kink ahoy!

Holmes would prolly drink that shit like water and have a micky in his boot for all opportunities. Watson is quietly irked, but occasionally Holmes convinces him into an absinthe-evening at home.
Categories: Art Characters: John Watson, Sherlock Holmes
Genre: Fluff, Humour
Pairing: None
Story Elements: None
Universe: 2009 Movie (RDJ)
Challenges:
Series: None
Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes Word count: N/A
[Report This] Published: 08 Feb 2011 Updated: 08 Feb 2011


Artistic Talent by paperflower86 Rated: Gen [ - ]
Summary: I'd like to see fanart of how Watson would draw Holmes and vice versa.

Maybe they do very badly, maybe they do very well (Holmes does come from an artists family, and doctors need to do an astonishing amount of drawing in anatomy classes), but I wanna see how they look to each other.

It could be that one draws the other while he's sleeping, or maybe just doodling it on the back of an envelope by memory while bored, or with a willing nude model la "Titanic".
Categories: Art Characters: John Watson, Sherlock Holmes
Genre: Humour
Pairing: None
Story Elements: None
Universe: 2009 Movie (RDJ)
Challenges:
Series: None
Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes Word count: N/A
[Report This] Published: 06 Feb 2011 Updated: 06 Feb 2011


Bamfy Ducklings by paperflower86 Rated: Gen [ - ]
Summary: Watson gets Holmes pregnant. He lays eggs. Ducklings hatch. That said I demand art of BAMFY ducklings with bowler hats and moustaches perambulating behind Holmes...

Bamfy Ducks Perambulating Behind Holmes
Categories: Art Characters: Sherlock Holmes
Genre: Humour
Pairing: None
Story Elements: None
Universe: 2009 Movie (RDJ)
Challenges:
Series: Holmes and his ducklings
Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes Word count: N/A
[Report This] Published: 06 Feb 2011 Updated: 06 Feb 2011


Bebop Holmes by paperflower86 Rated: Gen [ - ]
Summary: Cowboy Bebop/Sherlock Holmes crossover, anyone?
Categories: Art Characters: John Watson, Sherlock Holmes
Genre: Crossover
Pairing: None
Story Elements: None
Universe: 2009 Movie (RDJ)
Challenges:
Series: None
Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes Word count: N/A
[Report This] Published: 16 Feb 2011 Updated: 16 Feb 2011


Beepiper!Holmes by paperflower86 Rated: Gen [ - ]
Summary: Since the vuvuzela sounds like a bee cluster, and Holmes becomes a bee-keeper. I know there was another of Holmes having psychic control over his bees, but this time- what about Holmes controlling the bees with a vuvuzela?
Categories: Art Characters: John Watson, Sherlock Holmes
Genre: Humour
Pairing: None
Story Elements: None
Universe: 2009 Movie (RDJ)
Challenges:
Series: None
Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes Word count: N/A
[Report This] Published: 14 Feb 2011 Updated: 14 Feb 2011


Bondage!Watson by paperflower86 Rated: PORN [ - ]
Summary: Holmes/Watson, with Watson as the one tied up. Role play always fun, but consensual, please.
Categories: Art Characters: John Watson
Genre: BDSM, PWP
Pairing: None
Story Elements: Bondage
Universe: 2009 Movie (RDJ)
Challenges:
Series: None
Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes Word count: N/A
[Report This] Published: 14 Feb 2011 Updated: 14 Feb 2011


Chihuahua!Holmes by paperflower86 Rated: Gen [ - ]
Summary: Watson comes home to find a Chihuahua sitting in Holmes' chair. He gradually, via many subtle clues, comes to the conclusion that the Chihuahua IS Holmes
Categories: Art Characters: John Watson, Sherlock Holmes
Genre: Humour
Pairing: None
Story Elements: None
Universe: 2009 Movie (RDJ)
Challenges:
Series: None
Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes Word count: N/A
[Report This] Published: 16 Feb 2011 Updated: 16 Feb 2011


Dancing Holmes by paperflower86 Rated: Gen [ - ]
Summary: Okay. Um, I don't know why. But I read that adorable fill about Holmes and Watson waltzing and now I want...I want stoned Holmes dancing. Like, ridiculous dancing. Like, WOW HOLMES THAT IS SOME CRAZY DANCING.

I don't care what dance. He can bump and grind with his armchair or he can do THE WORM or he can attempt to tango with Mrs. Hudson and realize after the fact that she is a lamp. I DON'T CARE, GUYS. I just want him totally off his nut stoned and breaking it down.

Decided bonus points for Watson catching him at it and reacting with horror, serious LOLz, or both.
Categories: Art Characters: John Watson, Sherlock Holmes
Genre: Humour
Pairing: None
Story Elements: None
Universe: 2009 Movie (RDJ)
Challenges:
Series: None
Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes Word count: N/A
[Report This] Published: 06 Feb 2011 Updated: 06 Feb 2011


Summary: Draw Holmes and Watson's first kiss. Any/every 'verse you can dream of welcome.

Everybody should play (Stick figures/unidentifiable blobs are encouraged!). I just want to see a thread of as many potential first kisses as humanly possible.
Categories: Art Characters: John Watson, Sherlock Holmes
Genre: First Times
Pairing: None
Story Elements: None
Universe: 2009 Movie (RDJ)
Challenges:
Series: First Kisses
Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes Word count: N/A
[Report This] Published: 18 Feb 2011 Updated: 18 Feb 2011


Gay Guinea Pigs by paperflower86 Rated: Gen [ - ]
Summary: Companion piece to Holmes buys Watson a guinea pig Sparkle_Free
Categories: Art Characters: John Watson, Sherlock Holmes
Genre: Humour
Pairing: None
Story Elements: None
Universe: 2009 Movie (RDJ)
Challenges:
Series: None
Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes Word count: N/A
[Report This] Published: 09 Feb 2011 Updated: 09 Feb 2011


Haircut by paperflower86 Rated: Gen [ - ]
Summary: Watson gives Holmes a hair cut
or vice versa I suppose
Categories: Art Characters: John Watson, Sherlock Holmes
Genre: Humour
Pairing: None
Story Elements: None
Universe: 2009 Movie (RDJ)
Challenges:
Series: None
Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes Word count: N/A
[Report This] Published: 06 Feb 2011 Updated: 06 Feb 2011


Hat Hair by paperflower86 Rated: Gen [ - ]
Summary: Watson has Hat Hair
Categories: Art Characters: John Watson
Genre: Humour
Pairing: None
Story Elements: None
Universe: 2009 Movie (RDJ)
Challenges:
Series: None
Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes Word count: N/A
[Report This] Published: 09 Feb 2011 Updated: 09 Feb 2011


Summary: I don't know if such a fic has already been written, but ... Holmes and Watson are having sexy times, except Holmes can't get into the fun completely because Gladstone is right there staring at them. And won't go away even after Holmes chucks a shoe at him.

Bonus WTF points if Gladstone rips a fart half way and scares himself away from the scene.

Some more bonus points if the next day in the park, the reverse situation occurs and Watson is all "See, Gladstone doesn't give a damn when we watch him".
Categories: Art Characters: Gladstone, John Watson, Sherlock Holmes
Genre: Humour
Pairing: None
Story Elements: Voyeurism
Universe: 2009 Movie (RDJ)
Challenges:
Series: None
Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes Word count: N/A
[Report This] Published: 07 Feb 2011 Updated: 07 Feb 2011


Holmes Doodles by paperflower86 Rated: Gen [ - ]
Summary: When Holmes is at his desk thinking, he sometimes takes pen and paper and doodles some sketches.

I wanna see what the piece of paper would look like after Holmes is done with it. Like, a doodle of a rose, some Wagner quotes, a scribbled down "Mrs Sherlock Watson" surrounded with hearts, maybe some splashes of various chemicals that have eaten through the paper (and desk)...
Categories: Art Characters: Gladstone
Genre: Fluff, Humour
Pairing: None
Story Elements: None
Universe: 2009 Movie (RDJ)
Challenges:
Series: None
Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes Word count: N/A
[Report This] Published: 08 Feb 2011 Updated: 08 Feb 2011


Summary: A companion piece to Too Close For Comfort by IngridMatthews
Categories: Art Characters: John Watson, Sherlock Holmes
Genre: Humour
Pairing: None
Story Elements: None
Universe: 2009 Movie (RDJ)
Challenges:
Series: None
Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes Word count: N/A
[Report This] Published: 05 Feb 2011 Updated: 05 Feb 2011


Lost in the woods by paperflower86 Rated: Gen [ - ]
Summary: Holmes and Watson get lost in the woods. Holmes is all, "No, no, I got this" and tries to use his tracker-fu to get them out, but is thinking way to highly of his skills in this case. So he refuses to admit that he's as lost as Watson until Watson finally explodes at him all, "You suck at this and we're going to die out here and you suck" and this leads to a massive fight. The fight leads to explosive sex (they have to keep warm somehow) and in the afterglow Watson recognizes the sound of a carriage and figures out that there's a road just over the nearest ridge and patch of trees. Holmes had been leading them in circles.

Or something. Just get the boys lost.
Categories: Art Characters: John Watson, Sherlock Holmes
Genre: Humour
Pairing: None
Story Elements: None
Universe: 2009 Movie (RDJ)
Challenges:
Series: None
Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes Word count: N/A
[Report This] Published: 06 Feb 2011 Updated: 06 Feb 2011


Summary: So. We've got some great art by our gorgeous, talented, sexy, badass and slightly unhinged wheres_walnut.

I have one burning question:

WHAT HAPPENED TO ALL THE EYEBALLS? Seriously. It's like a HUGE jar, which should have HUNDREDS OF THESE THINGS, but there's only one eyeball. ONE. WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED TO THE REST OF THEM?
Categories: Art Characters: John Watson, Sherlock Holmes
Genre: Crack, Humour
Pairing: None
Story Elements: None
Universe: Sherlock (BBC)
Challenges:
Series: Body parts are easier to procure...
Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes Word count: N/A
[Report This] Published: 17 Feb 2011 Updated: 17 Feb 2011


MindControl by paperflower86 Rated: Gen [ - ]
Summary: Holmes has psychic control over his swarm of bees.
Categories: Art Characters: John Watson, OMC, Sherlock Holmes
Genre: Humour
Pairing: None
Story Elements: None
Universe: 2009 Movie (RDJ)
Challenges:
Series: None
Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes Word count: N/A
[Report This] Published: 08 Feb 2011 Updated: 08 Feb 2011


Moar Dark!Watson by paperflower86 Rated: Gen [ - ]
Summary: Further Comical Adventures of Dark!Watsonv
Categories: Art Characters: Dark!Watson
Genre: Humour
Pairing: None
Story Elements: None
Universe: 2009 Movie (RDJ)
Challenges:
Series: None
Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes Word count: N/A
[Report This] Published: 10 Feb 2011 Updated: 10 Feb 2011


Morning After by paperflower86 Rated: PORN [ - ]
Summary: Holmes asleep in bed, with Watson next to him looking down and enjoying the view. Not in a sexual way, but in a fond sort of way--y'know, "D'awww, he looks so adorable relaxed, man I love my Holmes."

Why "morning after"? Because it's the morning after their first time, and so obviously they shouldn't be wearing anything but the bedsheets. Hint hint.

Movieverse, please.
Categories: Art Characters: John Watson, Sherlock Holmes
Genre: Fluff
Pairing: None
Story Elements: None
Universe: 2009 Movie (RDJ)
Challenges:
Series: None
Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes Word count: N/A
[Report This] Published: 06 Feb 2011 Updated: 06 Feb 2011


Mycroft Duckling by paperflower86 Rated: Gen [ - ]
Summary: Watson gets Holmes pregnant. He lays eggs. Ducklings hatch. That said I demand art of BAMFY ducklings with bowler hats and moustaches perambulating behind Holmes...

Mycroft Duckling
Categories: Art Characters: Mycroft Holmes
Genre: Humour
Pairing: None
Story Elements: None
Universe: 2009 Movie (RDJ)
Challenges:
Series: Holmes and his ducklings
Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes Word count: N/A
[Report This] Published: 06 Feb 2011 Updated: 06 Feb 2011


Scientific Enquiries by paperflower86 Rated: Teen [ - ]
Summary: Holmes puts Watson's semen under his microscope. He sees swimmers with bowler hats and mustaches.
Categories: Art Characters: Sherlock Holmes
Genre: Humour
Pairing: None
Story Elements: None
Universe: 2009 Movie (RDJ)
Challenges:
Series: None
Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes Word count: N/A
[Report This] Published: 16 Feb 2011 Updated: 16 Feb 2011


Smoking by paperflower86 Rated: Teen [ - ]
Summary: Watson smokes. Holmes is like hnnnnnng.
Categories: Art Characters: John Watson, Sherlock Holmes
Genre: Humour
Pairing: None
Story Elements: None
Universe: 2009 Movie (RDJ)
Challenges:
Series: None
Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes Word count: N/A
[Report This] Published: 06 Feb 2011 Updated: 06 Feb 2011